Right here, right now, I will give you methods to develop real confidence that is permanent, long-lasting, and deeply rooted in your psychology.
The world is full of guys that walk around with chests puffed out, arrogantly swaggering down the road with their nose in the air.
You will often hear someone speaking with such confidence on a subject that they believe themselves to be an expert, utterly failing in delivering anything of value to a conversation.
This is not confidence, this is arrogance. Anyone with true confidence easily identifies these pretenders to the throne, just as you will one day.
There is a secret to achieving confidence, and that is competence. The first step in developing confidence is to understand that it has its roots in ability.
Confidence is a learned skill; it comes from knowing how well you handle a situation and believing that you can handle a situation. Earn that knowledge through having competence.
There is a trick to doing this. Here are the 7 guidelines you must follow to make it work.
1) Remember that no man can do everything.
There has never been a single man alive or dead that has been able to do everything. If you are a walking disaster in a particular situation, that simply means that it isn’t meant for you. I’m sure that Albert Einstein would not have been a great Point Guard for the L.A. Lakers just as I’m sure that Michael Jordan would not have been a great mathematician.
So beating yourself up about things that you have no knack for is counterproductive and just a waste of time.
2) Remember that you can’t please everyone.
If there is one thing that the internet should have taught you by now, it is that you can’t please everyone. Somewhere there is someone who will hate your decisions. Someone out there will not like you. No matter how successful you might be in some aspect of your life, there will always be someone who tries to tear you down.
Ignore the people that bring negativity to your doorstep. Unless they are someone important to your life, you can pretty much forget about what 97 percent of people have to say about you and what you do.
People will flow in and out of your life. People will give well-meaning advice that will not apply to you.
But look at me, You’re the Captain now.
3) Identify strengths and weaknesses.
As the great Warrior Poet Dirty Harry once said, “A man’s got to know his limitations.” Accomplish this by taking stock of what you are good at to understand what you are bad at.
Leverage those things that you are good at to your advantage. Work on the things that you are not good at to try to beef them up.
Don’t make the mistake of thinking that you will somehow make your weaknesses into your greatest strengths. This misconception is the same bullshit advice as “opposites attract” in dating.
The Pirate Black Beard never said to himself, “You know, I don’t know a lot about the mating habits of pilot dolphin. I’ll learn as much as I can about this subject, and maybe it will help in my piracy actions.” No! He was good at instilling fear, and he used it successfully to his advantage.
4) Work on that.
Work on utilizing your strengths to your advantage. Seek out opportunities to get quick “wins” in areas that specialize those skills or abilities. At the same time, do try to work on your weaknesses to make them less of a vulnerability. It’s a balancing act. One that you may not always be successful at but don’t despair, because having a lose instills a bit of humility to temper the confidence.
Just as the steel of the sword can be neither to strong or it will break, it also must not be too soft or it will bend.
Be the sword.
5) You must break from your comfort zone.
This is the hardest part of developing a deeply rooted, confident nature. To grow and build confidence that is lasting and strong as bedrock, you must do things that make you uncomfortable. You must wake earlier to achieve all that you set out to do. You must find ways to conquer your fears. It is this one thing that will make you genuinely confident.
6) Don’t fall victim to false confidence tricks.
Having confidence and acting like you’re confident are two very different things. It is learned to ignore what is said and how loudly it is said. Instead, watch a person’s actions.
Words are the sign of a con man, action is the sign of a confident man.
While this “fake it till you make it” method of character development works to the uninitiated, to young boys and girls, it hardly ever works with real men and women of value. A better way to achieve confidence is actually to develop it. Yes, confidence is most definitely a learned skill.
Why is this? Why do men seem to prefer pretending to be confident than actually possessing true confidence? I think that it has to do a lot with men being taught at a young age to act confidently in order to get what they want.
7) Success breeds success.
Remember when I said to seek out those things that you are skilled at for the quick win. After a lot of “minor wins,” you will feel more cable of handling more difficult challenges. With more difficult challenges comes more confidence, Unshakeable confidence. It won’t matter what anyone says or thinks about you, because you will know that you are an Accomplished Man.
In the face of absolutely everything on the internet, do not “fake it till you make it.” Instead, make it. Make it by doing. Act. Earn your competence and confidence through hard won experience.
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